How Time Alone Helps Build a Happy Marriage

A photo of a married couple holding hands while walking through a field. Strengthen your love life by taking some time apart when needed.

Some people have come up with the notion that a happy marriage is one in which a couple should spend every waking moment together, that they should go out on dates constantly and never be apart from one another.

But that’s not always the case. While having a healthy love life is ideal and what most married couples yearn for, there’s indeed more to life than sharing a romantic love.

People need to disengage themselves from their partner sometimes. People need their own interests outside the relationship. This does not mean having an affair. It just means having friends and hobbies that they can happily spend their time on when they’re not with their significant other.

Plus, there are a lot of good reasons to have some alone time every now and then.

Sure, people constantly look for all kinds of factors that contribute to a successful marriage, but the main root of a happy married life isn’t just in the time spent together as a couple.

People are People

The thing about a romantic pairing is that it’s generally composed of two people. There may be some variation to this in some parts of the world, but no matter what, romantic pairings are still composed of disparate individuals who come together to share their love and passion for one another.

People have their own individual personalities. The partners they end up being with may not always share the same passions. There will always be variation in terms of their personal preferences. They may not always come to a mutual understanding.

What most couples do is compromise in order for each party to fully enjoy the things they are passionate about without putting the relationship in jeopardy. One way of compromising is by giving each other the time and space needed to enjoy these things.

For one to indulge in their own interests and hobbies without having to worry about upsetting their partner is indeed a good way to achieve a happy and healthy marriage.

Breathing Time

Even the most healthy relationship has to deal with arguments. Arguments are usually due to misunderstandings. No matter the cause, it will be ending in a fight. As true as this is, it’s also very normal.

It may seem counter-intuitive, but a happy marriage isn’t just about all the happy times spent together. Overcoming different misunderstandings also plays an important role.

Failing to overcome these challenges would only mean that there was no point in getting married simply because the couple isn't willing enough to work together as a team both in the good times and the bad.

And because these things are bound to happen in any relationship or married couple’s life, taking some time apart to cool off is a good way to achieve a speedier reconciliation.

This allows both to reflect on their actions. Most will think about how they can better themselves as well as the relationship.

Surprise, Surprise

Sometimes, people randomly want to do something unexpected for their partner, which means having to be away from their partner in order to plan what they would like to do for them. Because if the partner finds out, then it ceases to be unexpected. It simply defeats the purpose of surprising them.

For this reason, a person may need to carve out some time alone for their partner, to think about what they can do to brighten their day or make them feel loved.

Personal Issues

Likewise, people also have several things in their lives that they need to deal with.

Part of having a partner means having someone to bear that burden with.

But there are some who may feel like the burden they have is theirs to bear alone and end up not wanting to dump any of it on their partner. Thus, they go and seek outside help, like from that of a therapist, a family member, or a friend.

People need to bear in mind that there are just certain things that can’t be shared with one’s partner, at least not at a time when it doesn’t feel right yet. So it’s important for a couple to be able to give each other space for them to deal with their own troubles and worries.

Either way, at the end of the day, a couple will still realize that they only have each other to count on, so it’s best to just wait for the right moment when one feels like unburdening themselves to the other. And it’s the other’s duty to help their partner overcome whatever it is they’re going through.


People generally have their own set of social circles.

Sometimes, these circles may overlap. But many times, a person generally has friends and family outside of their romantic relationship. Their partner may not always be fond of their friends, and at times it also works both ways.

Some of these platonic relationships may be important to some people.

Some may spend time away from partners to strengthen friendships.

Usually, a couple may have to come to an agreement as to how they can maintain each of their relationships with friends and family, regardless if they’re fond of one another or not.

What’s important is that the couple never has to ask each other which relationship has more value, that of theirs or their friends and family.

Hence, in giving each other space to spend time with people they care about outside of the relationship, the less toxic they will become to one another because of having to restrict themselves of who they can and cannot hang around with.

There are many different ways for a couple to achieve a happy marriage.

On the one hand, there’s the honeymoon phase where everything is bright, shiny, and new. But after that comes the rest of the marriage.

While two people can be wholly in love with each other, that doesn’t mean that they can’t have friends and interests outside of their relationship.

The right partner will always understand this. As long as both parties know when to give each other some time and space, there would be less chances for their marriage to fail.

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